So, I kinda-sorta-volunteered to spend some time with my nieces during the last week of my winter vacation. *feels forehead*
I think I’m still sane…
Yeah, so, since I don’t have children, my time spent with them is often met with sheer joy, until it’s not (kids cry. a lot).
Don’t force children upon me. Please. Don’t.
It works out soooo much better if I offer.
Just . Does.
My last run in an elementary school classroom was with pre-K and kindergarten kiddies. Kids who had to extend their arms fully to reach my knee caps. Read: small, itty, bitty people. That lasted all of one day. Yup, I resigned. Went to teach almost grown folks in high school. To say that children scare me is invalid. I love them. Bunches. I just don’t have any which means I’m not completely in tune with their quirks and requirements (food, naps, attention?).
I think they’re cute and I could probably accessorize the heck out of a mini-me if given the opportunity. But in general, I don’t usually hang out with the munchkins for long periods of time unsupervised.
Any-who, yesterday was the first day of my
extremely effective birth control time with the little ladies.
I’ll have them for the next two days, but here’s what day one taught me (some are common sense reminders that popped up again):
1. Children are brutally honest. Example: Niece A was having an in depth conversation with me about my hair and her preferences*.
Niece A: Auntie, [Sepia], you know this hair is scary. *makes scariest face you’ve ever seen on a cute 3 year old* You should really get it back like you had it last week. She’s referring to the smooth, silky, child-friendly pressed hair I wore last week.Sepia: What makes it scary, A?
Niece A: You don’t look pretty. You look like a scary hair lady. (Niece B nods in agreement) *dips fry in ketchup* *hums*
2. Elephants forget more than children. Not only do children never ever ever forget, they’ll remind you of every detail of the exact conversation where you promised to take them to the Christmas train at the mall but was too tired so instead you went home and watched Spongebob. Lesson: keep your promises to a child.
3. Chicken nuggets and fries trump pretty much everything else in the arena of fine dining. So, in an attempt to fuel up for the second half of day one, I pulled up to a Jamaican resty for some oxtails, rice and peas and plantains. Before I could unstrap their seatbelts, both Niece A and Niece B gave me a look that said, “Auntie, this place serves nothing for us.” Niece A, being the vocal one of the two said, “Auntie [Sepia] we don’t want this! We want Wendy’s.” Blink. *walks back to driver’s side to head to the nearest Wendy’s*
4. Nap time is essential. My biggest mistake yesterday, and the reason why I’m blogging at 11 am from the bed, was not giving the girls a set nap time. Even after a reminder from one of the mommies that, “the girls are gonna need a nap soon,” I let the day get away from me and wound up with one sleepy lady in the movie theater and another cranky little lady at the book store. Today, nap time is at 2. (Yay, that’s only 3 hours away!)
5. If/when/in the event that I am blessed with a child of my own (because children are truly a blessing) I’ll NEED a hubb (who actively wants to be a supportive father and caregiver) first. I’m putting that out into the universe. Yeah, sure, I spoke about the possibility of my marrying some kinda super star who’s always busy, but um, something’s gonna have to give. Sure, two three year old girls isn’t extremely likely (unless I have twins) but it could happen and I don’t want that to happen without a daddy. In jest, I sent one of The Daddies a bbm that read: Kids are sweet but EXHAUSTING! How do ppl have more than one? I need a baby daddy for the next 2 days!
I’m so sleepy and at the same time, I’m overjoyed because I have receipts for these gifts. They can be returned – not that I’m in a rush to stamp RETURN TO SENDER – but for the moment, I’m enjoying the time they’re spending with me.
They’re teaching me patience, unconditional love, forgiveness and that three year olds need a smaller cup when drinking hot chocolate.
I love these little ladies and I’m so grateful I get to have a hand in their life experiences. But, boy, oh, boy, I can’t wait until Thursday!
(A VERY Sleepy) Sepia
*The Fro is back, people 🙂