It’s funny to look back at how much God has shaped, molded, and changed me. Sometimes I’ll look and see a glimpse of my old self and smile, cringe, or just marvel at the distinction.
As I mature, my tastes continue to evolve in all aspects of my life. Most recently, I’ve realized that I can’t stomach certain genres of music. No, I’m not referring to rap, country or alternative; they all get rotation on my pandora station. The style of music I refuse to listen to goes across all genres: DEPRESSING.
Even in the midst of my blue Mondays I’d rather sit in silence than hear someone singing about love lost or the after-effects of love gone wrong. It’s like how-to guide on suicide. Sure, the songwriter was painting a picture, drawing from a place where that was his/her only release, but some of the songs out here are just, sad.
I’m mature enough to know that I can’t apply these songs to my life or facebook status (“In my feelings” – what does this mean, exactly?). Additionally, I think about the persons behind the songs. What mental state were they in when they wrote the song? What are their beliefs? I’m guilty of quoting Dwayne Carter a few weeks ago, but that’s not something I live by. It’s a catchy quote, not my personal mantra.
I’m sure someone, somewhere has proven scientifically that music has a physiological (and psychological) effect on the human body. Take me, for instance. When I run, I tend to listen to upbeat, catchy songs that will make me feel invincible while panting the 2-4 miles I usually attempt.
Listening to the depressing genre of music makes me, well, depressed. My most recent musical purchase – and the first album I’ve bought since around 2009 – was “21” by Adele, which chronicles the demise of her last relationship (sound familiar?). I bought it because I’m a huge fan of Adele (“Hometown Glory” will be in my first movie). Her voice is magic. The only gripe I have with her is the attachment she has to her ex-boyfriend. In a youtube video of “Someone Like You” performed live in her home, she talks about the song’s inspiration. Her words: “When I was writing I was pretty lonely and pretty miserable…. That relationship, that the entire record is about is really summed up in “Someone Like You” it changed me in a really good way. It made me who I am at the moment… I can imagine being about 40 and looking for him again and turning up and he’s settled and he’s got a beautiful wife and some beautiful kids and he’s completely happy and I’m still on my own. It’s kind of about that.”
The lyrics are somber and laced with melancholic attempts to say, “I want you back”. It’s like Adele was drained of every ounce of self-worth. She’s basically begging this man to still love her. It be’s like that sometimes… But I don’t see myself going back there… Sigh.
I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away I couldn’t fight it.
I’d hoped you’d see my face & that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over yet.
Nevermind I’ll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don’t forget me I beg I remember you said:-
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead” yay.
I listened over and over until common sense forced me to stop the song altogether. It had started luring me in. Adele’s voice, like playing a Beetle’s album backwards, was telling me to come into the blue zone with her. The thoughts in that place under my fro just clicked. I had an epiphany, like, “I don’t want someone like you. If I did, I’d be with YOU.”
Gone are the days of wallowing in what was. I must live in what IS; right now! Again, I love, adore, admire Adele’s voice, but why spend an entire album singing about someone who has moved on? Says the same woman who spent an entire six or seven posts blogging about break ups and heart ache… I guess sometimes you gotta get it out.
As the album title states, she’s only “21”. What more should I expect? Those were some weird times for me as well. There’s no love lost for Adele. I realize I’m not in “that place” anymore so I appreciate the art for what it is, art, not my life.
Sometimes it lasts in love; but sometimes it hurts instead…