I like shoes.
I love shoes.
I have a slight obsession with shoes. √
I like men.
I really like men.
I love good men. √
Now, let’s merge the two.
Men are like shoes. No, not that you need a pair to feel satisfied, but a great pair is hard to find. Stay with me. I’m going somewhere.
Picture this: You see a pair of Christian Louboutin round toe pumps. Your mouth waters with excitement. You HAVE to have them and you’ve made up your mind that you’ll do just about anything to get them. Of course, you’re wearing your favorite pair of non-luxury-but-still-uber-cutesy-platform wedges, but the bottoms aren’t red and the heel isn’t as high as you’d like it to be. You’re willing to take them off at that very moment and put on the newer, trendier pair.
Ladies, when is enough enough? Stop treating men (and the idea of marriage) like a pair of kicks. Don’t force your size 8’s into a 7.5 when you know it’ll only hurt. Don’t try and make it work. Wait until your pair becomes available. Get it?
If the shoe fits, it won’t hurt, there will actually be space for you to wiggle around a bit and you’ll be able to walk miles and miles without delay.
Instead of choosing a style of shoe (or man) that doesn’t complement anything in your wardrobe (life), be patient and choose wisely. Some of my best pairs of have been found when I least expected; not looking at all. And, don’t get me started on price! Who’s paid way more than necessary just to get the last pair?
Okay, we’re back in the store. The shoe is on display and there’s another woman inquiring about the last pair. The nerve of her! While you really wanted the shoes, you know they’re not quite your size and you’ve begun to waffle on whether or not you really-really need them. Part of you is saying, “get them before she gets them.” Another part of you is saying, “fall back, look for your size.”
The other shopper’s desire for the shoes heightened your level of necessity. It’s become a competition. You pull out your charge card and hand it to the saleswoman with a smirk. You won.
Or did you?
Months later, you realize these shoes never stretched out like you thought they would. They didn’t change. They didn’t go from spring to summer to fall to winter like you thought they would. You force them on with everything; they don’t quite match. Not even a little bit. They hurt to no end. So much so, that you’ve formed corns on two of your toes and there’s permanent damage to the balls of your feet. You just want to take them off.
But you still have to pay for them. You made a commitment; a huge financial commitment that, in hindsight was an investment. You’re realizing that you spent your last red cent on a disposable item that lost value as soon as you walked out of the store wearing them.
Now you see another newer pair that you can’t afford. You walk past the store; looking down at the shoes that were “just like the ones Beyoncé wore at the Grammy’s”; just like the pair your sister has… You based your desires on other people’s happiness.
The solution? Shop around a bit. Browse. Look online. Peruse stores you’ve never considered. Seek unique shoes that will carry you through seasons and occasions. Think more longevity than of-the-moment.
The right pair will fit. There will be no breaking-in process. You’ll be able to wear them out of the store with assurance that they’ll give you the support you need.
Wait, are we still talking about shoes?
Sepia N. Brown
P.S. Be on the look out for part 2.