Get Off The Bench

I love football.  Sure, I haven’t really followed a team since relocating back to Miami, but the love is still there (Go Giants!). Some men are surprised by my depth of knowledge for the game.

*Sepia Fact: I can watch ESPN alllll day long and I once aspired to be a sports anchor.  I woke up and fell asleep to SportsCenter, and the documentaries? Priceless! I’m sure this makes me a great candidate for America’s Next Best Girlfriend, so, you can email me at… nevermind.

I grew up around football. Having cheered in elementary, middle and high school, I’ve been on my fair share of sidelines. I went to high school with now-professional football players, I’ve seen the show that we prayed would come back but somehow got worse and I can’t really stomach the storylines these days, sigh  The Game, my younger brother is a college football player. All in all, I know football.

 With this extensive foozeball background, I’ve been able to apply certain concepts of the game to my dating life (yeah, the “d” word again).

Here’s the backstory: Loyal readers know (based upon the depressing posts of January and February), that I was going through it, earlier this year. I got over it. I prayed about it. I was delivered from it.  But I lost focus and fell back into it. No, I didn’t go back to “the old he”, but I allowed myself to swim back into the pool of pity. Started thinking about the past and was reminded that it was over, done with, finito!

So, yeah, that kinda doesn’t feel too good.  While I’m going in a new direction emotionally, I am human. I gave myself permission to feel what I was feeling and I spoke to someone about it. That’s when I realized that I was dwelling on a loss I had no business even thinking about.

Sepia, where does the football come in?

Right here → 

Football, like dating, is a game of passion. When playing the game  (where playing the game = in a relationship), you have to give it all you’ve got. You must play your position, know your role, and be mindful of the team.

So, you’re a free agent. Getting courted by different teams. The right team comes along and you’re ready for workouts (the first few dates). You make a great impression at practice (the period in which you get comfy and are on the way to exclusivity). The owner signs you to a contract (you’re in a relationship). 

 You’ve been bumped from free agent-maybe to  the franchise player. You run the risk of representing the team negatively, so stay in line. Now the pressure is really on.

It’s game day. You’re amped. You’ve had your pre-game meal, said your prayers. All you have to do now, is play your heart out.

After  a seemingly successful season (the extent of your relationship),  you’re in the division championship. During the last play of the last quarter, you dropped the game-winning touchdown. In short, you came up with a loss (it didn’t work out). You have failed the team.  Your team mates will be a mixed bag of emotions; some will say, “it happens to the best of us.” Others may blame you when they threw the pass too short to catch.

Either way, losing never feels good.  As a competitor I’ve  had to experience loss in order to appreciate a win.

The Coach will often ask, “Did you leave it all out on the field?” – Did you put everything you had into it? If so, you shouldn’t have any regrets. You won’t win every game. Some opponents are tougher than others.

The game is on Saturday, you rest on Sunday. Monday is film day: the one day you have to study your mistakes. Just take one day. Don’t watch the loop on SportsCenter.  – Try not to regurgitate every bad memory with your friends.  Don’t answer every question about every wrong move you made. It won’t make it better. All you can do right now is improve, be better in the next season. Prepare yourself to win.

Monday is the determining factor in your success. It allows you to accept your mistakes but move forward and make adjustments.

I found my Monday.  Now, I’m off the bench and playing in the next game.

I studied the film, took note of my weak points and waited for the opportunity to prove myself again. A few teams were interested, but the right fit showed up when I least expected it. I survived training camp and two-a-days. The scrimmage was a cinch. Game days come and go with ease.  I’m a star player now.  Unstoppable in the end zone.  Go Team Brown!

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One thought on “Get Off The Bench

  1. Miss Fathiyyah says:

    Love this post! I’m not a sports fan at all, but I understand the concept…and the game doesn’t stop when u enter into a relationship…I totally agree 🙂

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