One day after school, I was bopping through the aisles of Wal-mart with way too much in my basket, y’know, grocery shopping, when a young lady came up to me and said, “I’m not a lesbian, but you are a really beautiful woman.” Okay, one, this caught me completely off guard as I was kinda sorta bummy but pulled together. Two, I said, “thanks?” Three, why the disclaimer?
On another occasion, last week, a facebook friend’s status was : I feel beautiful. (or something similar)
Another friend (female, of course) commented: you are beautiful #nohomo
Is it necessary for you to be “homo” in order to give another woman praise for her outer beauty? Like, seriously, can I call a woman pretty, beautiful, gorgeous, super hot, and not be a lesbian?
Not sure if this thought is germane to the minority (read: black) community but we, as a people, often have a hard time praising one another.
In a recent article on Essence.com, Jamilah Lemieux sounded off on why sisters need to start giving props where they are due. Lemieux, (a.k.a. Sister Toldja) one of my fave femme bloggers, and creator of The Beautiful Struggler, wants the phrase “she think she cute” to be buried right along with the other negative stereotypes we create and perpetuate in our community. I agree.
It’s so much easier for us to stop tearing one another down.
That being said, there’s nothing “homo” about telling a sister she looks nice. I’ve always done it and it seems to brighten a person’s day.
Now, I’m the first to tell you I don’t get dressed for the compliments. I’m secure in my quirky, thrifty, all-my-own style. If a sister gives me a nod of agreement or even a look of “What was she thinking?” it doesn’t swayme in any certain direction. I get dressed for me and I’m comfortable in my “get up”.
Is it that some women don’t feel comfortable enough in their own skin? I mean, if you feel great about you and just happen to find something intriguing or fashion forward about the next woman’s appearance, does it hurt to tell her?
We have been so accustomed to “one-upping” one another that compliments seem to be a thing of the past. Let’s be ladies and shower one another with love and adoration. If you see a sister who’s “doin’ it” let her know.
No disclaimer is needed to pay a compliment. It’s free. You never know, you might just gain a friend.