I’m what some would call a former Facebook addict. I say former only because I don’t post pictures or notes as much as I did while living in NY. I can remember when I updated my status like 20 times per day (pre-twitter), made sure I carried my digital camera everywhere I went, and chatted online for hours at a time.
Regardless of what has changed, there have always been secrets I kept away from Mr. Facebook. I never posted my deepest, darkest feelings that would confirm to anyone reading that I might be
going through something. bipolar or mentally unstable due to my most recent break up
Another facet of my life that has been kept secret is (dun, dun, dun) my relationship status. Newsflash: I have a boyfriend. The people who really matter already know that. If you’re finding out for the first time, congratulations, and welcome to Sepia In A Relationship! (I promise this won’t consume my blog as this is not a blog about my relationship(s).)
Even while super single (as long as I’m not married, I’m single), I never posted my status. Not sure why, though. Maybe I’m insanely private? Nah, I post pictures of my breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I check in at the gym (on the way out) almost everyday, and most of my friends know how much I spend monthly at Grand Lux because I’m always there according to Facebook.
So, why won’t not post your relationship status on Facebook, Sepia? Hmmm…. Lemme think about it. Okay, I got it.
People place waaay too much emphasis on the whole [Sepia Brown] is now in a relationship with [Rumplestilskin LaVerde].
Thanks Mark Z, and the whole Facebook crew! With the advent of the comment and “Like” feature on status updates, you opened up a world of trouble.
I’m pretty sure if I list my relationship status, there will be a slew of “Congratulations”, “It’s about time”, and , “Who’s the lucky guy?” – type messages. Um, no thanks.
The only status change that should matter is once I get engaged, or, even better, married. It’s the only point at which I’m completely off the market.
Let’s not start with pictures! Whoo, chile!!! Post one picture and it’s over!!! My last blog post featured a sorta picture of Rumplestilskin. I’m sure I could very well post the entire picture and get zero flack about it, but I want to keep my business, my business. He’s my Rumplestilskin and I could care less if you like him or not…. Okay, Sepia is calm now.
So, I asked a few of my friends why they posted or refused to post pictures of their significant others and why they did or didn’t post their relationship status. Here’s what I got:
I have been in a relationship for close to 6 months but I choose not to put my status on Facebook. I have a few reasons for not putting it on here. 1) I don’t want people that I really don’t know asking me questions about it. 2) If I put “in a relationship” and it doesn’t work out I don’t want to have to explain anything to anyone when I have to change it to “single”. 3) I am a private person when it comes to my relationship and don’t like everyone in my business.
I don’t have any pictures of him or us up because like I said I am a private person when it comes to that and I just don’t feel like I need to post it all over facebook. Me and him know what we have, my friends know him, his family and friends know me so there’s no need to post it on FB.
Now if he decides to propose or something then yes that status will change, LOL!!!!
– Renee, Miami, FL
I see it this way either they are not proud of what they have meaning being in a relationship or the person they are dating doesn’t have them on their page.
Lol! And another thing why are there people who are married or in a relationship and not Friends [with the significant other] on facebook that’s just puzzles me. Something bout that is just sneaky.
– American Boi, Albequerque, New Mexico
We work together. Inter-office politics don’t always allow for successful relationships. People see pictures and make comments at work. Too much to deal with. Sometimes you can’t put stuff like that up (pics and status) because intrusive people will try to find out more and break it up, try to start problems, or show you up with unintelligent comments. I find when you keep your focus on your relationship and keep it off of facebook things work out a lot better.
– Morgan, Tampa, FL
I’m not my relationship.
– Shawn, Brooklyn, NY
I think Shawn pretty much sums up my thoughts on posting my status or pictures of Rumple and I on Facebook. It is where I do business (4ChristSake, Sepia Says), connect with potential sponsors and readers, and where I post my thoughts on everything. While I love my Rumplestilskin, and will not deny his presence, he’s not my sole representation.
So, if anyone asks, yeah, I’m in a relationship… Just not on Facebook.