Our glasses were cold and empty at close to two o’clock when I finally managed to
leave Scott’s side of the couch. I had fallen asleep on his chest and was awakened by his light snoring.
“Scott, come on.” I lifted his hand so he could follow me to my bedroom.
His steps heavy in contrast to mine. Me, walking on my tip toes as to not wake up
Reagan. Scott removed my tank shirt and laid me on my back. He kissed my navel
cautiously. Our eyes met and my right eyebrow raised. We smiled at one another
bashfully. It had been quite some time since we had felt one another.
After I gave birth to Reagan we began attending worship services together and had
made a vow not to have sex. Though Scott was faithful, I had been less than
honest. Part of the reason I couldn’t marry him was because I had an insatiable
sexual appetite which I had attempted to fill with different men. It wasn’t
that I didn’t love Scott. I just loved me more.
Looking back, I could’ve become Mrs. Scott Nelson but I don’t think that would’ve solved much of the problem.
Scott’s lips found every secret spot on my body. He kissed behind my knees, between my toes, just below my forehead, and finally on my lips. I thought I would explode
if he touched me anymore. I had felt more passion with Scott semi-clothed than
I had in a full sexual tryst with any other man. Scott knew how and where to touch to evoke the desired effect.
“How did you know to pick up Reagan today?” I stopped between kisses and looked at Scott in the face.
“The school called Papa. I was with him when they called.” Scott continued kissing
me. His intent was clear. Though my body was reacting to his touch, my mind was
elsewhere. Something told me Scott was up to something. Still, I craved his touch and succumbed to him.
Scott and I had what I would deem make up worthy sex, but he was emotionally
detached. When he was done he fell asleep without his usual post-coital shower. Tears streamed down my cheeks because for the first time I didn’t hear him tell me how much he loved me after making what I thought was love. For the first time, Scott hurt me. It wouldn’t be the last.
I showered and walked to the guest room. Still wrapped in a towel, I opened a jar
of sugar and lavender scented oil I had been mixing for a new product. I pondered Scott and his sudden visit. His child support payments were always on time and he made sure I had enough money to keep Reagan in after school activities. Why was he coming back now? I had made it more than clear that I wasn’t interested in rebuilding with him. Or was I?
I crawled into the guest bed alongside a mound of clothes that needed folding. Lulled
into a dreamy haze by the scent of Downy fabric softener, my favorite ever since my adopted mom used it on my track suit in high school, I finally found sleep at close to four in the morning.
When I woke up, the house was abnormally quiet. It was past nine o’clock and I was
late taking Reagan to school. I assumed that Scott had taken her and I was right. I walked through the house wrapped in the same towel from the night before and found a letter taped to the refrigerator.
Reagan is with me. I’ll give you a few months to do what you’ve
been wanting to do this whole time. Good luck with your career.
To be continued…