Issues…

I have commitment issues.

 

With life, love, and of course with my blog.

 

I thought purchasing my domain name would be an added catalyst for me to blog more, but it takes about 21 days to break a habit. I don’t think I’ve ever blogged 21 days straight. Eeek! I have to fix that!

 

I’ve never even exercised 21 days straight and my thighs are proof of that right now! Goodbye size six by Thanksgiving.

I also have issues with not getting my way.  *hides face in shame* *peeks between fingers*

 

Still there?

Okay, good. Keep reading.

Right now, Rumplestiltskin isn’t my biggest fan. Long story short: It’s my fault. I was being bratty. Turned something small into something HUGE and it lead to… blah, blah, blah. I’m not one to talk about my relationship in an open forum, but I was a jerk to him and he’s been more than great to me. I don’t think this time is fixable.

 

No, this isn’t the first time, therefore, I know it’s me. I’m the common denominator in every argument, blowup, public display of embarrassment… Sadly enough, this isn’t a new phenomenon. I’m sure my loving readers are surprised that the well-dressed, immaculately coiffed Sepia is admitting to be less than composed at times, but it’s true. Did I want to expose my flaw? Of course not. But, if I want to be better for the sake of this relationship or more importantly, for my own well-being, I must do something about it.

 

I love Rumple, but I love me more. Enough to take a time out and cool down. Not sure if he’ll be there once I return, but I’m willing to at least put things on pause until I can treat him like I should.

 

Just to clarify, I’m not a fire-breathing dragon woman, but I can see the error in my ways more clearly now than ever. Even if I end up super-single afterwards, I’ll be a better woman for the next chapter.

 

While I don’t believe in taking breaks in relationships, I have to take a break to get to the root of the problem. Like, where is this anger coming from? When did it happen? Why am I taking it out on him? Of course, I’ll get some sort of assistance (Picture me laying on a couch, heels kicked up, spilling all my beans).

 

In the mean time, I’ll do something differently: I’m going to keep writing. If I don’t write, my thoughts won’t get out and I won’t have the support of my friends, readers and strangers who give such awesome advice.

 

Have you ever been in my position? What did you do?

Talk to me.

 

Sepia ♥

 

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2 thoughts on “Issues…

  1. jezibelle says:

    Been there…

    I focused on making me the best me I could be and ignored everything else for a while…

    I am still working on me…

    Everything else is still there. I just cope with it better.

    I am super-single, but becoming a much better person.

    I learned that if I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship and/or live with me, then I couldn’t expect anyone else to want it either.

  2. Danzo Pratt says:

    Been. In. That. Position….

    What did I do in that situation? Well… You don’t wanna follow that advice…

    As an avid reader, Rumple seems like a man of great integrity… So, he’ll be there.. But, for now, Self assessment is the order of the day, and too few people ever choose to stop and actually THINK about why they are where they are…. for that, I think you’re ahead of the game.

    It’ll work out for you, and, when it does, I’m sure we’ll get a good post or two out of the experience. Until then, Prayer and Supplication, Scripture reading, and perhaps, take a look at The Four Agreements.. Great for self-actualization within the bounds of a relationship.

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