I have commitment issues.
With life, love, and of course with my blog.
I thought purchasing my domain name would be an added catalyst for me to blog more, but it takes about 21 days to break a habit. I don’t think I’ve ever blogged 21 days straight. Eeek! I have to fix that!
I’ve never even exercised 21 days straight and my thighs are proof of that right now! Goodbye size six by Thanksgiving.
I also have issues with not getting my way. *hides face in shame* *peeks between fingers*
Okay, good. Keep reading.
Right now, Rumplestiltskin isn’t my biggest fan. Long story short: It’s my fault. I was being bratty. Turned something small into something HUGE and it lead to… blah, blah, blah. I’m not one to talk about my relationship in an open forum, but I was a jerk to him and he’s been more than great to me. I don’t think this time is fixable.
No, this isn’t the first time, therefore, I know it’s me. I’m the common denominator in every argument, blowup, public display of embarrassment… Sadly enough, this isn’t a new phenomenon. I’m sure my loving readers are surprised that the well-dressed, immaculately coiffed Sepia is admitting to be less than composed at times, but it’s true. Did I want to expose my flaw? Of course not. But, if I want to be better for the sake of this relationship or more importantly, for my own well-being, I must do something about it.
I love Rumple, but I love me more. Enough to take a time out and cool down. Not sure if he’ll be there once I return, but I’m willing to at least put things on pause until I can treat him like I should.
Just to clarify, I’m not a fire-breathing dragon woman, but I can see the error in my ways more clearly now than ever. Even if I end up super-single afterwards, I’ll be a better woman for the next chapter.
While I don’t believe in taking breaks in relationships, I have to take a break to get to the root of the problem. Like, where is this anger coming from? When did it happen? Why am I taking it out on him? Of course, I’ll get some sort of assistance (Picture me laying on a couch, heels kicked up, spilling all my beans).
In the mean time, I’ll do something differently: I’m going to keep writing. If I don’t write, my thoughts won’t get out and I won’t have the support of my friends, readers and strangers who give such awesome advice.
Have you ever been in my position? What did you do?
Talk to me.