But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me. – Micah 7:7 NASB
I’m expecting in more ways than one. The past few weeks have been rather challenging but in the best way. Though most of my activities pertain to sleep and schoolwork, I’ve been mentally preparing myself to become a mommy! In 8 weeks give or take, I’ll be someone’s mother! Technically, I already am but the work really starts after birth. For now, I’m responsible for eating right and getting ample rest (which I don’t think there’s ever enough of).
As part of my third trimester swag bag, I’ve been gifted INSOMNIA! Yay!!!
Most nights, I max 4 hours of real sleep. I wake up for 3 hours and fight sleep for the other 2. Insomnia leads to aimless internet pilfering. When I’m not on babycenter.com, I’m googling. My search history looks like this:
breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding
can I eat sushi in my third trimester
risks of inducing pregnancy at 39 weeks
can I take a hot bath in my third trimester
baby shower gift ideas
safest way for baby to sleep
beyonce baby bump
cute maternity clothes
should I vaccinate my baby
You get the picture. Once I’ve filled my head with enough useless and scary information, I somehow fall asleep. When I wake up, I’m thinking about all the stuff I googled and my mind won’t rest. This is a new occurrence. I’ve never been a worrier. Pre-pregnancy, I was carefree, cool, not so calm, but kinda collected. Now that I know I have the charge of being fully responsible for the well-being of another human being FOREVER (even on weekends), I’ve gone into worry mode. My husband often reminds me that I should NEVER worry.
“If you’re going to worry, stop asking God for help,” he says.
It’s easier said than done at times. I guess right now is the time where my true faith is being tested. I can’t control what’s going on inside me. I have no idea what my baby will look like, how much she will weigh or how she will react to me. I can only expect the best. In expecting the best, I hand everything over to God. Trust me, it’s not easy but it’s worth it.
Being a believer, expectant of the abundant blessings of God puts me in a place where I appreciate every moment. This journey of pregnancy is almost over and I feel like it just started. For the remaining weeks, I will expect the best. Like the scripture says, I will watch expectantly for the Lord. I will give Him a chance to show up before I allow negative thoughts to drown out my joy.
In expecting more of God, I expect more of myself. I can honestly say that I have not been expecting much of my “writing/blogging” self. (Seeing that the last time I blogged was a month ago to the date. :: sigh ::) In an attempt to be better, I will document and share as much of the rest of this journey as possible. I’ll dub November as Momvember. I look forward to sharing my stories and antics with you.
Pregnancy has been an avenue of growth for me. The experience of another living being growing inside me is miraculous and kinda scary. It’s evidence that God is real! This process is giving me something great to expect.
I challenge you to wait expectantly on an abundant blessing. At times we (I) expect the worst in life, but what about expecting the best for your life? It’s all in your perception. I accept God’s blessings for my life. Do you?