Tag Archives: first time mom

Brooklyn’s Mommy

One day, Lord willing, I’ll pick up my baby girl from school or camp or church or somewhere and someone will say, “That’s Brooklyn’s Mommy,” in reference to me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

That's Brooklyn's Mommy. Getting ready on Mother's Day.

That’s Brooklyn’s Mommy. Getting ready on Mother’s Day.

Though my motherhood journey has just started, I’m so grateful and I’ve learned so much. Some of the things I said I’d never do have been crossed off that list; including but not limited to:

  • co-sleeping/bedsharing
  • baby talk
  • baby shopping sprees
  • passing her off to someone else (babysitter, grandma, auntie) when I get a little tired
  • letting her go out in public wearing only a onesie (it’s hot in Florida)
  • posting pictures of her on social media (I tried but I just love her soooo much I have to share)
  • talking about her incessantly

I finally know what it means to have a piece of your heart leave you each day. Like, I really love this little person just because she is! I’m amazed at her growth and in four short months she’s formed a personality and has all these little quirks. Who knew?

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Reflecting back to last year around this time, I was only about two months pregnant and full of questions. I didn’t know what would come of the pregnancy. I didn’t know if she was a she, LOL. I just knew I would try and be the best mom possible.

The smirk.

The smirk.

Even towards the end of my pregnancy it still wasn’t real. Sure, I had a big belly and felt life inside me but I hadn’t experienced the cries, sleepless nights, coos, laughs or smiles yet. I had no idea I would have to learn how to be patient with this little person’s ever-changing demands. I didn’t know this love. At four months, she’s getting into a routine and trying to scoot around. She has teeth trying to break through and she’s gnawing on everything. When she cries, I soothe her. I even laugh at the funny faces she makes when she doesn’t want to wake up or when Daddy’s annoying her.

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I can understand the tears my mom shed, the sacrifices she made, how unselfish she was, how hard she worked for us and why she still works so hard to be an amazing example of what it means to be a mother. I only hope I can be the same for my daughter.

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Sure, there will be days when she disappoints me or makes me upset but I’ll be ready to roll with the punches. For right now, I’m cherishing the moments that she wants to hug me, hold my face in her hands, slobber my nose and have conversations with me.

 

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One day she’ll wipe off my kisses and immerse herself in friendships. But for now…

She’s my silly billy, my Teeta-Peeta, my Mamacita, my baby girl. And I’m over-the-moon happy to be Brooklyn’s Mommy!

Chanell Nicole

 

P.S.  Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all Mommies, mommies-to-be, step moms, grandmoms, aunts and godmothers.

 

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Mother’s Day For Me

Yesterday I celebrated my first Mother’s Day!

I started off the day in prayer, thanking God for making me a mother. That’s such a huge title and I’m learning that so much comes with being a mother.  I spent the early part of the morning with My Mommy! The Baby and I went to my mom’s church for a Mother’s Day breakfast. We had a great time.

Me & My Mommy

Me & My Mommy

Just before we were about to leave, I got a “gift” from my baby girl. She left it all over the front of my dress and on her clothes, too. We smiled off the little mishap and headed home. Though our plans to attend our place of worship were put on hold (due to a cranky, teething baby) I enjoyed spending time in bed; just the two of us.

Me & The Baby.

Me & The Baby.

Later on in the day, we went to my mother-in-law’s house for dinner. The menu was oxtail, jerk pork, coconut rice and peas, steamed cabbage, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, and corn bread. I kept my portion rather manageable so I could later enjoy a slice of red velvet cake! My mother-in-law surprised me with my first Mother’s Day gift: a wonderful card, a pair of earrings and a matching necklace. She also bought me a notebook with a message that really touched me.

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Since becoming a mom, it has been hard for me to find the balance between wife, mom, and creative being. Her message encouraged me to keep creating and being purposeful. I couldn’t ask for a better mother-in-law!

My husband had made me believe that all I was getting for Mother’s Day was a singing card. I can admit, I was astounded! I could not believe that he didn’t see the importance of my very first Mother’s Day! Just before dinner, he asked me to come into the den and place a hot pink gym bag in front of me. “Open it,” he said, smiling.

Inside was most of what I’ll need to continue my journey to a more fit and better me. While some women want flowers and perfume, all I wanted was a spare pare of running shoes and I got so much more! I was cheesing for the rest of the day.

Later in the night, once the baby was asleep he said, “did you actually think I wouldn’t get you a gift?”

“I was hoping you got something but you really had me going,” I told him still cheesing.

“It was fun watching you almost spazz out though.”

I can admit, I get a little impatient at times; especially with my husband. The greatest gift I could have gotten on Mother’s Day was already given to me. I have a healthy baby girl and a husband who loves and supports me.

But who doesn’t want to be celebrated a little? Right?

How was you Mother’s Day?

Until next time Be Blessed & Live Well.

Chanell Nicole

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Random Blog #3

Hey!
I feel amazing. It’s a refreshing feeling. I’m not as tired as I once complained about and the feeling is priceless. BK is 3 months old! I can’t believe how fast the time is flying. She amazes me everyday. Seeing her smiling face (which looks nothing like mine) every morning is a blessing within itself. Some days I just want to stay at home with her and play all day long. Never have I known this kind of love.

I love being a mother. Though it took me a little while to embrace, I can actually say it’s the best feeling in the world. Last year around this time, I had just found out I was expecting. I was afraid and excited all at once. It was then that I began wrapping my mind around what it meant to bring forth life. What I have now is so much more than what I could even think of. (Ephesians 3:20 moment in full effect.)

I can remember being one of those women who bragged about NOT having children. I now chuckle when I read a status update that says something like: I’m glad I don’t have kids to tie me down.
Some women make the choice not to have children and that’s all fine and dandy. But my life didn’t have the same purpose that it does now that I have a child. Everything I do has an effect on her life. That’s so deep and intimidating at times. Even when talking about myself I have to remember that she’s watching and listening. I am her definition of what it means to be a woman. That’s so scary to me. I’ve been given a huge charge to mold and shape and be an example.

I take it day by day and I am confident that God has prepared me for every obstacle I’ll face in motherhood and life in general. Knowing that my strength comes from Him makes it so much easier. One thing I’ve learned in the past three months is that it gets better. When I brought her home from the hospital I had no idea what I was doing. I cried a lot. I spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever get the hang of things. Once my hormones leveled off and I treated her like a baby (instead of expecting her to be able to do everything on her own) I regained my composure.

I still don’t feel like my “old” self and that’s to be expected. I’m a different person with a new title: Fabulous Mommy! I embrace it and I know that being a mom doesn’t mean being perfect, but I’m working on it.

 

Motherhood: A Brand New Me

Motherhood: A Brand New Me

Until next time,
Be blessed & Live Well.

Chanell Nicole

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From the Desk of Chanell Nicole, Exhausted Mom/Vacant Teacher

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Are You there, God? It’s me, Chanell. Right now, if I wasn’t typing these words, I would probably fall face down on my desk and succumb to the tiredness that is my life. I am beyond tired and I just gave a busy work assignment to a group of 6th graders who need to be given step-by-step instructions on how to live their lives.

This is my "do your work" face.

This is my “do your work” face.


Did I mention how tired I am? Jeesh! When people (with kids and a sick sense of humor) told me to get my rest while I was pregnant, I took that lightly. While you can’t possibly sleep enough, I think I took those words to mean during the first few weeks of the baby’s life I would need extra rest. I had no idea they were referring to the REST OF MY LIFE!
When I close my eyes, my snoring immediately wakes me up, which means I should probably refrain from blinking while at school. Is this real life? Like, really? Is it?
On the phone with my sister trying to stay awake

On the phone with my sister trying to stay awake


Sleep-deprived is my first, middle, last, maiden, and married name right now.I am in dire need of a vacation, well, not even a vacation, but a nap would be nice.

While I have slept over four hours in a row since giving birth, a few more hours added to that would be GLORIOUS! Who am I?
I’m talking about a nap like it’s a slice of carrot cake cheesecake (mmm, that sounds good right about now).
With close to two hours to go until school’s out, I’m thinking of a way to “go home early”. Aaaahhh! I’m soooo tired.

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So tired that I’m letting my class talk right now. So tired that I’m overlooking the group of students that are blatantly cheating (I’ll get them later).
So tired that I’m wearing flats (for the rest of my life).
So tired that the thought of wearing heels exhausts me…
So tired that I want extra energy for my birthday, Christmas, and every day of Kwanzaa…
So tired that my next class will have a “free day” and do a computer-based assignment.

You get the point.
I’m a new mom who wakes up way too early to get everything done and is still just “on time” (not early) to work.
I have to come up with a way, a system, a method of expending less energy or using the energy I have more wisely.

Any suggestions?
Until then, I’ll be napping with my eyes open…..

Live Well & Be Blessed

Chanell Nicole

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20 Days

So, how’s mommyhood?

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked this question in the past 20 days, I’d be a thousandaire. I’m not sure how to answer the question but usually I say something like:

“Great. It’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. Challenging, but amazing.”

That’s probably the most PC answer I could come up with.

In all honesty, I really want to say something like:

“Overwhelming. Emotional. Scary. Utterly exhausting. Uncertain. Nothing I imagined.”

That’s the most accurate answer I could come up with.

 

Day one in the hospital.

Day one in the hospital.

I’m a mother. A caretaker. Someone on this planet relies on me for comfort, food, a shoulder to cry on, and everything else she needs.  It is indeed the scariest endeavor I have ever embarked on. I do not have a textbook baby and I’m fine with that. She loves her Mommy  and her Mommy’s boobs. She makes me laugh, sigh, smile, yawn, and cry; sometimes all at once.

Day two.

Day two.

During the past 20 days, my emotions have run the gamut from elation to exasperation and I wouldn’t change that for the world. The first night I brought her home, I was overcome with a sense of failure, like I was not ready to be a mom. She could sense my uneasiness and reacted accordingly. Though this is another blog for another day, just know that we passed the test. I had to rely completely on my instincts and I did what was best for my family.

Breastmilk wasted.

Breastmilk wasted.

On the plus side, I have never felt such joy. When I get it right, comfort her or ease her cries just in time, I feel like I’ve won the lottery.  Seeing her eyes open wide in my direction makes the sleepless nights, the sore boobs, the showerless days all worth it.  I had to change my thinking and realize that she’s her own person. She is unlike any of the babies I have volunteered to watch temporarily. She is all mine and I thank God for her every single moment.  In the words of my husband, “I love her just because she is.”

Hey, do you know what you're doing?

Hey, do you know what you’re doing?

As I type these words, she’s by my side. I’m watching her chest rise and fall, listening for her breaths and coos, and I am examining her features; wondering what I did right to deserve such a blessing. Her existence makes me aware of God’s presence. He never sleeps and always watches over us. I get it now. 20 days down, a lifetime to go.

My sleepyhead baby.

My sleepyhead baby.

Thanks for reading.

Until next time live well and be blessed.

Chanell Nicole♥

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