Tag Archives: life

Random Blog: Post-Holiday Haze

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Happy Holidays! I had such an awesome time celebrating my baby’s first Christmas. I wanted to recreate the sandman in the picture above but we did so much running around that time did not allow it. Maybe if this Florida weather cooperates (and I have enough energy) I’ll go to the beach to make one before the year is out. Thank God for sunny Christmas days!

I’ve heard a time or two or three that your purpose is what wakes you up in the morning. For the past 11 months or so, I’ve been awakened at some point of the night or morning by the darling whispers (read: belting cries) of my baby girl. So, I guess my purpose as of late is being a mother and I am content with that. Sure, it’s one of my many slashes (wife/mother/student/…) but it has become the role that requires the most from me. 

Last night/ this morning I was awakened by something different: Anxious thoughts of the next few weeks. I’ll return to work, start classes again, host BK’s first birthday party, make newer, better, more perfect mistakes, and be better overall. That got me to thinking about my priorities. Rewind close to three years ago and I thought I wanted to be a lifestyle maven who attended great parties, wore fabulous vintage clothes, traipsing around town in high heels that cause no pain and my fro in the wind. Fast forward to today: my day-to-day is nothing like I’d imagined. I’m okay with that.  Life has shown me more perfectly what I need. While I’m always searching for a more balanced approach, I no longer want to pressure myself to be on any scene. Maybe this will change. One day. 

Based on this morning’s thoughts I want to be a little more under the radar and do more than I say. I guess as a resolution of sorts, I plan on living. Not spending an insane amount of time trying to pose for the perfect picture. This will require me to detach from social media a bit (aaaah!) and just live my life out loud no matter who likes it or not. I will live with intention and purpose and just be. 

I want to live like my BK: she’s not afraid of making mistakes, she’s fearless, she’s adventurous and she speaks her mind (as best she can at this point). She smiles and laughs and growls and is just fine with being herself. She’s pretty awesome and I get to be her mom!

With the holidays ending I’m looking at the upcoming year with promise. A year flies so quickly and we are often pressured into creating change quickly for other people. On a personal note, I had a baby almost a year ago. sure, I lost some baby weight but gained it all back (sure, this is a struggle for me but I’m human enough to share it). I realized that I had a household to run, a baby to raise, classes to take and a few jobs to do. Not making any excuses… like, none at all. I also, didn’t set any goals (this will change). So, there was nothing to look forward to. Enough about me,  I dare you to set reasonable goals but challenge yourself in every area of your life. Do something that scares you and just live. I have to do better and I hope you will, too. 

Be. Do. Live. 

 

Be Blessed and Live Well. 

 

Chanell Nicole ♥

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Random Blog #1 Friday. 2.15.12

Wow. I can’t believe it’s the second week in February already! I can see this year is going to fly by. Any-who, what’s new with me? (Besides every single day being a different adventure?) Oh, I gave up social media for the next 40-60 days. I need a way to clear my mind and focus on what’s really important right now: my God, my husband, my child, my goals.

(Wait, is blogging considered social media? Hope not. If so, this will be my cheat of sorts.)

 

I have been so consumed with tending to the wants and needs of a new baby that I feel like I have lost a bit of myself. Maybe I’m changing so much that I don’t recognize Chanell. Maybe this is the new me? Either way, I feel like I need to reconnect or re-meet myself.

 

These days I feel selfish for being tired. I feel even more selfish for being a tad bit frustrated at times at such a little, defenseless human being. I have apologized to the baby on two occasions for wanting more sleep. She can’t fend for herself. She needs me more than I need her. Am I wrong for wanting to do more with my day? Should I not want to go back to work?

 

My day-to-day routine has changed from: wake up, breakfast, tv, blog, internet, get dressed, go to work; to: wake up (by way of personal alarm clock/crying), breastfeed, rock back to sleep, stuff down breakfast, try not to fall asleep while looking for clothes to wear to mother in law’s house. Every day I realize in some way that my life has changed and will never go back to what it used to be. In some ways, that’s refreshing; in other ways, it makes me feel a bit trapped (maybe trapped is the wrong word but when you have to sit on the toilet with a newborn attached to your boob, tell me you don’t feel trapped!).

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love being married and I love my baby girl. I may be having a “greener grass” moment. I was so great at being a single woman, that I may have taken it for granted. Either way, I’m at a new place in my life and I must embrace the change. Hug it. Go with it. Love it.  Grow from it.

This is just like any other new role I have to assume. With it comes growing pains and adjustments. I’m finally realizing what patience really is. Especially since the baby refuses to take a pacifier or bottle (which is delaying my return to work). She’s on her own time (hello? she came almost 2 weeks after her due date) and I must respect that.

 

In respecting the process, I must remember that this time won’t be forever. I might even look back on it and laugh (will I?).

For now, I’ll continue to listen out for the cries of my demanding boss and take her orders with a smile (and maybe a few yawns).

 

Until next time, Live Well and Be Blessed.

 

Chanell Nicole ♥

 

P.S. – Since I’m fasting from all social media (Facebook, InstaGram, Twitter, etc) feel free to share.

 

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