Tag Archives: sacrifice

Brooklyn’s Mommy

One day, Lord willing, I’ll pick up my baby girl from school or camp or church or somewhere and someone will say, “That’s Brooklyn’s Mommy,” in reference to me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

That's Brooklyn's Mommy. Getting ready on Mother's Day.

That’s Brooklyn’s Mommy. Getting ready on Mother’s Day.

Though my motherhood journey has just started, I’m so grateful and I’ve learned so much. Some of the things I said I’d never do have been crossed off that list; including but not limited to:

  • co-sleeping/bedsharing
  • baby talk
  • baby shopping sprees
  • passing her off to someone else (babysitter, grandma, auntie) when I get a little tired
  • letting her go out in public wearing only a onesie (it’s hot in Florida)
  • posting pictures of her on social media (I tried but I just love her soooo much I have to share)
  • talking about her incessantly

I finally know what it means to have a piece of your heart leave you each day. Like, I really love this little person just because she is! I’m amazed at her growth and in four short months she’s formed a personality and has all these little quirks. Who knew?

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Reflecting back to last year around this time, I was only about two months pregnant and full of questions. I didn’t know what would come of the pregnancy. I didn’t know if she was a she, LOL. I just knew I would try and be the best mom possible.

The smirk.

The smirk.

Even towards the end of my pregnancy it still wasn’t real. Sure, I had a big belly and felt life inside me but I hadn’t experienced the cries, sleepless nights, coos, laughs or smiles yet. I had no idea I would have to learn how to be patient with this little person’s ever-changing demands. I didn’t know this love. At four months, she’s getting into a routine and trying to scoot around. She has teeth trying to break through and she’s gnawing on everything. When she cries, I soothe her. I even laugh at the funny faces she makes when she doesn’t want to wake up or when Daddy’s annoying her.

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I can understand the tears my mom shed, the sacrifices she made, how unselfish she was, how hard she worked for us and why she still works so hard to be an amazing example of what it means to be a mother. I only hope I can be the same for my daughter.

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Sure, there will be days when she disappoints me or makes me upset but I’ll be ready to roll with the punches. For right now, I’m cherishing the moments that she wants to hug me, hold my face in her hands, slobber my nose and have conversations with me.

 

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One day she’ll wipe off my kisses and immerse herself in friendships. But for now…

She’s my silly billy, my Teeta-Peeta, my Mamacita, my baby girl. And I’m over-the-moon happy to be Brooklyn’s Mommy!

Chanell Nicole

 

P.S.  Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all Mommies, mommies-to-be, step moms, grandmoms, aunts and godmothers.

 

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Random Blog #1 Friday. 2.15.12

Wow. I can’t believe it’s the second week in February already! I can see this year is going to fly by. Any-who, what’s new with me? (Besides every single day being a different adventure?) Oh, I gave up social media for the next 40-60 days. I need a way to clear my mind and focus on what’s really important right now: my God, my husband, my child, my goals.

(Wait, is blogging considered social media? Hope not. If so, this will be my cheat of sorts.)

 

I have been so consumed with tending to the wants and needs of a new baby that I feel like I have lost a bit of myself. Maybe I’m changing so much that I don’t recognize Chanell. Maybe this is the new me? Either way, I feel like I need to reconnect or re-meet myself.

 

These days I feel selfish for being tired. I feel even more selfish for being a tad bit frustrated at times at such a little, defenseless human being. I have apologized to the baby on two occasions for wanting more sleep. She can’t fend for herself. She needs me more than I need her. Am I wrong for wanting to do more with my day? Should I not want to go back to work?

 

My day-to-day routine has changed from: wake up, breakfast, tv, blog, internet, get dressed, go to work; to: wake up (by way of personal alarm clock/crying), breastfeed, rock back to sleep, stuff down breakfast, try not to fall asleep while looking for clothes to wear to mother in law’s house. Every day I realize in some way that my life has changed and will never go back to what it used to be. In some ways, that’s refreshing; in other ways, it makes me feel a bit trapped (maybe trapped is the wrong word but when you have to sit on the toilet with a newborn attached to your boob, tell me you don’t feel trapped!).

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love being married and I love my baby girl. I may be having a “greener grass” moment. I was so great at being a single woman, that I may have taken it for granted. Either way, I’m at a new place in my life and I must embrace the change. Hug it. Go with it. Love it.  Grow from it.

This is just like any other new role I have to assume. With it comes growing pains and adjustments. I’m finally realizing what patience really is. Especially since the baby refuses to take a pacifier or bottle (which is delaying my return to work). She’s on her own time (hello? she came almost 2 weeks after her due date) and I must respect that.

 

In respecting the process, I must remember that this time won’t be forever. I might even look back on it and laugh (will I?).

For now, I’ll continue to listen out for the cries of my demanding boss and take her orders with a smile (and maybe a few yawns).

 

Until next time, Live Well and Be Blessed.

 

Chanell Nicole ♥

 

P.S. – Since I’m fasting from all social media (Facebook, InstaGram, Twitter, etc) feel free to share.

 

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Men = Shoes

I like shoes.

I love shoes.

I have a slight obsession with shoes. √

My dream closet. Image courtesy of http://www.runningwithshoes.com

 

I like men.

I really like men.

I love  good men. √

Now, let’s merge the two.

Men are like shoes.  No, not that you need a pair to feel satisfied, but a great pair is hard to find.  Stay with me. I’m going somewhere.

Picture this: You see a pair of Christian Louboutin round toe pumps. Your mouth waters with excitement. You HAVE to have them and you’ve made up your mind that you’ll  do just about anything to get them.  Of course, you’re wearing your favorite pair of non-luxury-but-still-uber-cutesy-platform wedges, but the bottoms aren’t red and the heel isn’t as high as you’d like it to be. You’re willing to take them off at that very moment and put on the newer, trendier pair.

The newest platform Louboutin. I saw this ad in Vogue magazine and stopped for like 5 minutes.

 

Ladies, when is enough enough? Stop treating men (and the idea of marriage) like a pair of kicks. Don’t force your size 8’s into a 7.5 when you know it’ll only hurt. Don’t try and make it work. Wait until your pair becomes available. Get it?

If the shoe fits, it won’t hurt, there will actually be space for you to wiggle around a bit and you’ll be able to walk miles and miles without delay.

Instead of choosing a style of shoe (or man) that doesn’t complement anything in your wardrobe (life), be patient and choose wisely. Some of my best pairs of have been found when I least expected; not looking at all. And, don’t get me started on price! Who’s paid way more than necessary just to get the last pair?

Okay, we’re back in the store. The shoe is on display and there’s another woman inquiring about the last pair. The nerve of her! While you really wanted the shoes, you know they’re not quite your size and you’ve begun to waffle on whether or not you really-really need them. Part of you is saying, “get them before she gets them.” Another part of you is saying, “fall back, look for your size.”

Press your face against the glass.

The other shopper’s desire for the shoes heightened your level of necessity. It’s become a competition. You pull out your charge card and hand it to the saleswoman with a smirk. You won.

Or did you?

Months later, you realize these shoes never stretched out like you thought they would. They didn’t change. They didn’t go from spring to summer to fall to winter like you thought they would. You force them on with everything; they don’t quite match. Not even a little bit.  They hurt to no end. So much so, that you’ve formed corns on two of your toes and there’s permanent damage to the balls of your feet. You just want to take them off.

 But you still have to pay for them. You made a commitment; a huge financial commitment that, in hindsight was an investment. You’re realizing that you spent your last red cent on a disposable item that lost value as soon as you walked out of the store wearing them.

Now you see another newer pair that you can’t afford.  You walk past the store; looking down at the shoes that were “just like the ones Beyoncé wore at the Grammy’s”; just like the pair your sister has… You based your desires on other people’s happiness.

The solution?  Shop around a bit. Browse. Look online. Peruse stores you’ve never considered. Seek unique shoes that will carry you through seasons and occasions. Think more longevity than of-the-moment.

The right pair will fit. There will be no breaking-in process. You’ll be able to wear them out of the store with assurance that they’ll give you the support you need.

Wait, are we still talking about shoes?

My perfect pair of the moment. Courtesy of Aldo

Sepia N. Brown

P.S. Be on the look out for part 2.

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