Motherhood Revisited

I can remember the months leading up to the birth of my daughter. I was excited, anxious, and scared. I had no idea what motherhood would bring. As I look forward to celebrating my second Mother’s Day, I see motherhood completely different.

 

Brooklyn (almost 3 months) at Camryn’s 1st Bday 04/03/2013

Having spent close to 16 months being a mother, I want to take back every piece of advice I’ve ever given another mother. Well, mostly the judgmental stuff. The “you shouldn’t let her talk to you like that” ‘s , the “why are they eating that” ‘s , all  the annoying unsolicited advice, would go out the window.  Why? Because back then, when I was super single, had enough time to shave my legs  more than once a month (judge all you want; mama is ti-RED), I had energy to spare and free time was my reality, I saw motherhood as something you did right or wrong.

 

Muah. BK (12 months) after worship service.

Now, over a year into the most important job on the planet, I see my mothering and parenting as a learn by doing sorta thing. Of course there are still the advice givers and overly concerned family members and even strangers who comment on my somewhat free style parenting. I’m sure they’ll always be there. However, what I am learning is that there is no right or wrong way to do things. A co-worker of mine recently had a baby and in the card I gave her, I wrote something like: go into motherhood with an open heart for your baby and closed ears to everyone else.

 

Brooklyn’s 1st Birthday!

I wanted to impart to her that though people will have things to say (about your baby’s uncombed hair and lack of a sweater in “cold” Florida weather) God gifted you with the blessed responsibility of motherhood. That’s what my daughter has taught me. Especially on nights when I’m tired from work, school, and life and the last thing I want to do is breastfeed. Then I realize she won’t always be this close to me. One day, probably sooner than I can imagine, she’ll want to spend more time with her friends than with her Mama!

 

In the meantime, while I parent out loud and in public, I’ll do so my way. Day by day, it gets easier and harder all at once. After I’ve conquered one challenge, here comes another. But you know what? Oddly enough, with each challenge, I become stronger and I am more ready than I thought I would be. No longer am I afraid or anxious. I greet each day of being a mother with joy. I relish in the moment that I drive up to the babysitter’s house and see my BK peeking through the blinds, waiting for me to come to the door or on the ride home when she’s singing “Happy” and waving her hands in the air.  It’s moments like those that fill me with gratefulness for the gift of motherhood. On tough days, I’ll revisit my mommy moments and my heart will smile.

 

Until Next Time….

Be Blessed & Live Well.

 

Chanell Nicole

 

Share a Mommy Moment with me 🙂

Random Blog: Post-Holiday Haze

Happy Holidays! I had such an awesome time celebrating my baby’s first Christmas. I wanted to recreate the sandman in the picture above but we did so much running around that time did not allow it. Maybe if this Florida weather cooperates (and I have enough energy) I’ll go to the beach to make one before the year is out. Thank God for sunny Christmas days!

I’ve heard a time or two or three that your purpose is what wakes you up in the morning. For the past 11 months or so, I’ve been awakened at some point of the night or morning by the darling whispers (read: belting cries) of my baby girl. So, I guess my purpose as of late is being a mother and I am content with that. Sure, it’s one of my many slashes (wife/mother/student/…) but it has become the role that requires the most from me. 

Last night/ this morning I was awakened by something different: Anxious thoughts of the next few weeks. I’ll return to work, start classes again, host BK’s first birthday party, make newer, better, more perfect mistakes, and be better overall. That got me to thinking about my priorities. Rewind close to three years ago and I thought I wanted to be a lifestyle maven who attended great parties, wore fabulous vintage clothes, traipsing around town in high heels that cause no pain and my fro in the wind. Fast forward to today: my day-to-day is nothing like I’d imagined. I’m okay with that.  Life has shown me more perfectly what I need. While I’m always searching for a more balanced approach, I no longer want to pressure myself to be on any scene. Maybe this will change. One day. 

Based on this morning’s thoughts I want to be a little more under the radar and do more than I say. I guess as a resolution of sorts, I plan on living. Not spending an insane amount of time trying to pose for the perfect picture. This will require me to detach from social media a bit (aaaah!) and just live my life out loud no matter who likes it or not. I will live with intention and purpose and just be. 

I want to live like my BK: she’s not afraid of making mistakes, she’s fearless, she’s adventurous and she speaks her mind (as best she can at this point). She smiles and laughs and growls and is just fine with being herself. She’s pretty awesome and I get to be her mom!

With the holidays ending I’m looking at the upcoming year with promise. A year flies so quickly and we are often pressured into creating change quickly for other people. On a personal note, I had a baby almost a year ago. sure, I lost some baby weight but gained it all back (sure, this is a struggle for me but I’m human enough to share it). I realized that I had a household to run, a baby to raise, classes to take and a few jobs to do. Not making any excuses… like, none at all. I also, didn’t set any goals (this will change). So, there was nothing to look forward to. Enough about me,  I dare you to set reasonable goals but challenge yourself in every area of your life. Do something that scares you and just live. I have to do better and I hope you will, too. 

Be. Do. Live. 

 

Be Blessed and Live Well. 

 

Chanell Nicole ♥

On Waking Up Early(er)

Guess what day it is?

I will never understand why people ask questions like that. Like by guessing it’s Friday on Wednesday will change anything… uhhhh, never mind.

So today I decided to join the #5amclub and I’m so happy I did. I usually wake up early since I have to be at work  before 8 so it wasn’t too much of a challenge. 

I had to plan, prepare and press forward in order to get going at 5am. I prayed with my husband, ate half a bagel with peanut butter and grabbed a gallon of water and thought I would be out of the house. But noooo! Vanity came in and interrupted my flow!

Makeup! I forgot my makeup!  Gasp!

I rummaged through the bins in the bathroom and tried my best to locate the eyeliner, blush, and pressed powder that would turn me from frog to princess after my workout. Having wasted enough time, I grabbed what I could and dashed out of the house. Looking like a bag lady on the way to the gym, I loaded up the car and was on my way.

Three minutes later, in the parking lot at the gym, I said a prayer for strength and walked inside.

“Oh, hi, we can’t let you in here with that gallon of water,” said the front desk attendant.

“Huh?”

I didn’t debate just then but I saw the scheme of the enemy clear as day. I almost got angry and left but I remembered my goal.
Back inside the gym I asked the attendant if they had that policy written down on their contract anywhere.

“No, but see the picture? The guy has a gallon of water.”

I was beyond confused but still went to start my workout sans my illegal gallon  of h to the izzo.

My brief workout went well. I challenged myself for anout 45 minutes but was sure not to overdo it.

I hit the showers and realized I didn’t pack lotion or a bra! I just laughed.

None of the two outfits I packed could be worn without a bra and wearing my sweaty sports bra was completely out of the question. (Besides, I still breastfeed, I could have an accident! )

I had two options: go home (which would cause me to miss the early shuttle bus to work due to my desire to cuddle with the baby) or run over to Walmart.

I showered, brushed my hair up into a messy bun and got dressed then headed over to Wally World with ashy legs and… well you know, no bra.

(P.S. I’m a Target girl but they’re not open as early as Walmart; so Walmart it was.)

In my head I kept repeating Bra, lotion, lipstick. Bra, lotion,  lipstick. Bra, lotion, lipstick. Just to remember what I’d gone to Walmart for in the first place. I had no time to get sidetracked.

Once I got inside, my tune changed to Bra, lotion, lipstick, liner, moisturizer. By the time I got to the cosmetics aisle it had turned to Bra, lotion, lipstick, lipstick, lipstick, liner, moisturizer.

*I really think my Mother-in-love (not law) is rubbing off on me (another blog for another day).

Any who, I made it out of Walmart with only five minutes  to spare before I would be late  for the early shuttle to work or driving myself (which defeats the purpose of this Walmart run).

I drove on two wheels into the parking lot and grabbed my lunch bag and purse. As I was walking to the bus stop I realized I was double posted and had to go back to straighten up the car (didn’t want a ticket).
I hopped out of the car, ran to the bus stop and just made it in line for the shuttle bus.

With almost no seats left I found a cozy space in the back (which is where I’m writing this blog post). I laughed a little when I realized the bra I just bought was hanging out of my purse (I decided not to put it on in the car to save time).

I’m pretty sure people were staring but I didn’t have time to care.

It reminded me that everything takes a plan. I thought I was all prepped and ready to go but I forgot some essential things in the process. I’ll only get better. It will only get easier. All the while, I’ll keep sharing my growth and keep waking up early (er).

Are you a morning person? What could you get done if you woke up earlier?
Let’s talk.

Chanell Nicole

Tasty Tuesday! Chanell Nicole Makes Pesto Pizza

Happy Tuesday! I’m trying something a little new on le blog today.

Introducing Tasty Tuesdays: a day where I’ll share what I cooked, what I ate, what I might think about cooking, what I want to eat… you get the picture.

Today’s recipe is a quick, easy, healthy take on one of my favorite indulgences: Pizza!

My family loves pizza. I could probably eat it every single day. That would get somewhat expensive and I’m sure someone would get tired of it.

I used premade dough from the bakery section of my local grocery store which saved me a lot of time. Besides, who has time to mix and wait and all that? If you do, kudos to you.

Anywho, here’s my take on pesto pizza.

Fresh,  uncooked pizza dough (or you could use prebaked pizza crust, wheat flour or any of the gluten free options out there)

Flour
Fresh mozzarella
Roma tomatoes
Pesto sauce
Egg
Garlic powder
Crushed Red Peppers (optional)
Coarse sea salt (optional)

Let dough rise at room temperature for one hour.

Preheat oven to 400° F

On a floured surface, roll out dough to desired thickness.
Dust hands and rolling pin in flour to prevent dough from sticking.

Roll out dough using hands or rolling pin.

Once dough is at desired thickness, use fingertips to make dents in the center of the  dough.

Spread about two tablespoons of pesto sauce from the middle to an inch.away from the edge of the dough.

Break pieces of fresh mozzarella and place on top of pesto.

Salt slices of Roma tomatoes and place on top.
Make a egg wash and brush along the edge of the pizza.
Sprinkle garlic powder (or other Italian seasoning) on top of the egg wash.

Bake for 15 minutes or until crust is golden and cheese is bubbly.

Enjoy with a family style salad and a glass of sparkling water with lemon for a fresh weeknight meal.

It was absolutely delicious and it’s also great for meatless Mondays!

*my apologies if this meal is somewhat summery, I live in South Florida where it’s almost always summer time*

Hope you enjoyed Tasty Tuesday!

What’s your favorite pizza combination?

Chanell Nicole

Enough, Already!

I’ve had enough. I have enough. I am enough.

Lately, I’ve been waffling with the idea of being more and doing more. I feel like I need to do more but I don’t always have the time. As a new mom, who is still wrapping her mind around the fact that she REALLY has a child, I have had to prioritize a few things.

At the beginning of the summer (a whole season ago), I took on a new position; something completely outside of what I expected myself to do (nothing exciting enough to blog about).  It would be the first time I was in charge of adults (I’ve taught for years and being accountable for little people is a lot easier). So, since I was the new kid on the block, I had to prove myself. Or so I thought. See, going in to the position, I was qualified and in position to perform. The work environment was pretty easygoing but a few of my co-workers are in a “see who can stay at work the latest” contest and for a while I was, too.

So, there I was, putting in longer hours than necessary as part of this imaginary contest. After work, I was cranky, tired, and I didn’t want to deal with anything (cooking, cleaning, smiling) or anyone (The Husband, The Daughter, The Dwindling Pool of Friends).

Something had to give. I realized that if I could give my all to a job, a position, something that gave me experience and fed someone else’s dream, I could definitely give more than that to my family and myself. I made a change. I made a bold move and asked for a schedule change. (Now, this may not work for everyone but I stepped out on faith) My request was granted and things have been going a lot better since then.

I still have my struggles.  My internal conversation goes something like: What am I going to do with all this extra time? Now that I have a little more time to myself, how will I fill it? Will I write? Work out? Sleep? Do homework (since classes start today)? Pick up the baby early? What to do?

How could I not want to pick this cutie up early?

With my priorities in order, I must be purposeful and plan. Being a wife and mom is enough. Though I sometimes deal with mommy guilt when I take too long to pick up the baby or spend time alone or do anything that doesn’t have to do with my family; I’m getting to the point where I can incorporate Wife, Mommy and Chanell.  But I’m getting there.

While I’m in the meantime, I know that this is all part of the process. Anything that I add on is just a plus. Chanell the Wife, Mommy, Student, Writer, Blogger is enough, already!

Time Out

Today I decided to stop making excuses and take a Time Out for me.

 

Over the past year I became a wife, then a mom. Naturally, my priorities shifted and the needs of my husband and daughter kinda pushed mine a little further back.

My blogging assistant with me after a run.

I haven’t been feeling quite like my old self and that’s to be expected; I’m not her anymore. This Chanell 2.0 has different wants and needs and as the years add up, I’m realizing what’s most important.

Outside of my relationship with God, being a new wife (one year in) and an even newer mom, I must take care of myself.

With a new job that holds lots of responsibilities, I have little time for anything besides family. But the excuses stop here. I will make time for me and all that being me entails (writing, blogging, getting out more, thrifting, cooking, laughing, enjoying the little moments).

Celebrating BK’s 1/2 Birthday.

Today, during my Time Out, I took time to run again. Thanks to the Couch to 5k app on my phone (and the urging from an article I’d read in Essence magazine) I reluctantly put on my running shoes again. Jesus be some muscle/endurance memory! While my goal is to be able to run a 5k at some point this  year, I want to be healthier.

Last week, before I left the house, my husband prayed, jokingly, “Lord, please give us what we need to lose this weight so we can run each other down the street when we get mad.”

He and I have both put on a few pounds since venturing into marriage and parenthood and I know that by putting these words down I’m holding myself (and him) accountable.

In high school, I was a distance sprinter. I could run a quarter mile in under a minute and a half mile in… well, less than four minutes (I hated the 800 meter run). While I’d love to get back to that speed, that’s not my aim. I’d like to be able to run – at a nice, steady pace – for an hour without fainting. Sure, it’s a hefty goal – one that seemed so far-fetched today during my 15 minute walk-run – but if I take a few more Time Outs I’ll be there in no time.

 

Slow and steady wins the race.

Until next time, Be Blessed and Live Well.

Chanell Nicole♥

Tia’s Testimony

May is Pre-Eclampsia Awareness Month. In an effort to bring awareness and draw support from my readers I will share the story of a dear friend and survivor, Tia.

Fathiyyah Doster, a Miami native, world traveler, music enthusiast and awesome Mommy embarked on her journey into motherhood in February 2010.

I remember seeing pictures of her baby shower on Facebook then almost immediately following, there were well-wishes and prayers, but not the usual prayers. Something had gone wrong. Read along and be inspired as Tia shares her story of victory, faith, and survival.

They say you don’t know how strong you are until you actually have to be strong. And to be honest, the last time I ever felt strong was after my daddy died. It was almost like a forced strength because everyone and everything else around me was crumbling before my eyes. In some strange way, I think I carried that same strength throughout the years, just saving it for the moment that I would need it again. And surely did I need it beginning February 5, 2010.

It’s funny how sometimes it takes tragedy and trials to make a believer out of some people. As much as I’ve tried to deny myself of these feelings, it holds true for me. I’m not sure how much I believed in God before, but I did. I grew up knowing Him, but never took enough time to fully secure my faith (or so I thought). Til this day, I thank God for a praying mother because without her, I wouldn’t know Him.

Time after time, people tell me I have a testimony. I often wonder why God chose me, of all people to give this test and testimony to. I mean, even after so much went on, what do I say? What do I do? How do I testify that God is real and I know it. So these days, my prayer is that God shows me how to do just that. So I guess writing something would be a good start, huh?

For those that don’t know what happened,  I was pregnant with my daughter, due to give birth on or about February 22, 2010. Of course it was designed some other way that God saw fit and I had her through emergency cesarean at 5:07am, on February 5, 2010.

I felt some abnormal pressures in my stomach and back and after calling the midwife around 12am, I went to the hospital, honestly thinking it was a false alarm. Upon being checked in by the nurses, it was found that my blood pressure was a 210/150 (or something like that).  Immediately I knew what that meant. My plans for a natural water birth were shattered. They needed to take the baby ASAP. I panicked.

Literally no more than five minutes after my blood pressure was taken, I began to seize and blacked out. When I woke up, I was not oriented to place or time, and the only thing I knew was that there was no baby in my stomach and I was connected to many tubes and pipes and hoses and machines. I just couldn’t understand. My nurse tried to explain to me what had taken place, but everything was a blur…the only thing I could comprehend was that “your baby girl is okay.”

They diagnosed me with HELLP syndrome. This is basically a very severe case of eclampsia. It means Hemolytic anemia Elevated Liver enzymes and Low Platelet count. This led to two seizures and multi organ failure, shutting down my lungs, kidneys and liver. My blood was clotting, I was retaining all types of fluids and I was swollen. They proceeded to intubate me, put me on a ventilator, dialysis, connect these draining tubes in both sides of my stomach.

Over the course of what I think were days, I remember bits and pieces of people coming to visit, meeting nurses and doctors. I was intubated and not able to talk at all, making me frustrated and tired. The doctors were all out of ideas. Nobody knew what to do. It was a waiting game. A nightmare! A three and a half month nightmare. I remember telling one of my best friends that I felt like I was on an episode of House. I secretly wished it was an episode of House and at the end, they figured out the mystery and sent me home to be with my baby.

The one thing I do remember is praying non stop. I couldn’t talk, walk, write, eat, drink, sleep and I could barely think. You never know how much you miss those simple pleasures in life until you can’t do them anymore. The only thing I knew how to do was pray. Throughout my stay at the hospital, I had several nightmares, several dreams, and the only thing I could do in the midst of it all was pray. It was just me and God. Or God and I. I was angry and frustrated. I was happy and grateful. I was hungry and thirsty. I was sleepy and anxious. I was depressed and paranoid. I was up and down, here and there. I was lonely and in pain. I didn’t know how to feel. I was a mess! But all I could do was pray.

One dream I remember vividly is my daddy being there telling me to stop being lazy and to get up and do what I have to do. He told me that he would watch Ayah while I handled my business. At the time, I really just enjoyed seeing my daddy in my dreams every night. I didn’t know what it meant, it just felt good. I felt again how I felt when my daddy died. This overwhelming strength came over me. If I wasn’t going to handle this for myself, I had to do it for Ayah.

I remember consoling my mother and praying with my sister. I remember my friends and family coming to see me. I remember my aunt by my bedside constantly until I was comfortable enough to stay by myself. I remember foot massages and half baths from the nurses. I remember multiple procedures and painful procedures. I remember being so reluctant to take any medications out of fear of becoming addicted. I remember being so protective over my trach out of fear that I would suffocate. I remember dialysis and being hot then cold then hot again. I remember my fevers being so high that they had to put that COLD blanket on me. I remember the nurses packing my cesarian cut with what I thought looked like packing foam to help absorb some of the fluids in my abdomen. I remember wearing those leg things that are supposed to help decrease the chances of blood clots in the legs. I remember leaving the television on the nature station and just watching pictures of nature wishing I was well enough to go somewhere, anywhere. I remember trying to text when I thought I was better. I remember listening to Anthony Hamilton non stop on my mp3 feeling a bit soothed from his voice. I remember watching ‘Why Did I Get Married Too’ on bootleg on my portable DVD player. I remember my aunt braiding my hair and trying to cover up my bald spot. I remember my friend coming to paint my nails and my cousin giving me a pedicure. I remember seeing one of my nurses cry because she had never seen anything like my case. I remember being transferred to Tampa General Hospital. I remember my room decorated with balloons, flowers, cards, pictures and the overwhelming love and support. I remember attempting to write when I couldn’t talk. I remember the crazed respiratory therapist that traumatized me several times. I remember the very blunt nephrologist and the very sincere internal medicine doctors.  I remember the transporters and nurses and other staff coming to check on me all the time to see what progress I was making. I remember the Haitian chaplain coming to pray with me almost everyday. I remember the ghetto tech that always made me laugh. I remember the older volunteer nurse that came to give me GOOD baths every Sunday. I remember watching every rerun of every show on every channel, everyday for three and a half months. I remember the first time I sat up, the first time I spoke, the first time I was able to eat.

Most of all, I remember the very first time I saw Ayah (when I was coherent). All I could do was cry. I hated for her to see her mommy that way. I was shaking uncontrollably as I held her. I told my mother that I didn’t want her to come back to that place as long as I was there and that was my motivation to get better as soon as I could.

Love poured in from everywhere. I never knew how much love and support surrounded me and that is one of the greatest feelings a person could ever have. I needed that in order to sustain. God knew exactly who to place in my life. I think this situation not only touched my life, but the lives of so many people who now understand that this thing is real. A person can be here one day and gone the very next. The overwhelming amount of prayers and petitions that God received had to help sway his mind…LOL. So many people believe that God is real and believed that he was able to do more for me than we would ever be able to do.

The aftermath is the hardest. Physical therapy to regain strength in my legs and feet from having foot drop. Having to continue with dialysis; My kidneys were the only organs that didn’t recover fully and although they are functioning, they aren’t functioning fully on their own. Right now, the options are permanent dialysis or kidney transplant. Mentally, I’m burdened everyday with the thought of being here for my daughter. I struggle with confidence and strength everyday. I struggle with accepting the new person I’ve become and the person others expect me to be. Feeling like I have these shoes to fill because of my test. I feel obligated to do more than exist now, I need to live, and live with a purpose.

I know that God has my back. Even through the difficult times. People say He didn’t bring me this far to leave me. I could have been gone. My daughter could have been gone. He didn’t have to give me another chance at life, but He did. There was no way anybody could tell me that I deserved His grace. What have I done to afford this gift?

Tia & Ayah

Gradually I’m understanding that it’s not about what I have done, but what I am going to do. My prayer is also that my testimony speaks volumes through my actions. That I never let a day go by that I don’t appreciate the moments that I have on this earth. You can’t tell me God isn’t real. If I wasn’t a believer before, I’m definitely a believer now. If He does nothing else for me, He has done enough. Love brings change. God brings change. I know that when his glory shows up, bodies are healed and most of all, lives are changed. All you have to do is believe. My life was forever changed on February 5, 2010.

Today, Fathiyyah has progressed and is no longer on dialysis. She resides in Miami where she raises her beautiful daughter, Ayah. Tia’s resilience is unmatched. While she survived HELLP syndrome, she didn’t rejoice quietly. As part of her testimony, she formed Team Ayah’s Miracle and spearheaded the Promise Walk for Pre-Eclampsia. This year marks the third year that the South Florida community will have a chance to spread awareness and raise funds for Pre-Eclampsia. I was able to participate last year just weeks after finding out I was expecting. The testimonies of the women and men involved were so encouraging. If you would like more information or to donate go to www.promisewalk.org

Thanks Tia for sharing your testimony.

Be sure to donate. Any amount could help.

Until next time, Be Blessed & Live Well.

Chanell Nicole

Brooklyn’s Mommy

One day, Lord willing, I’ll pick up my baby girl from school or camp or church or somewhere and someone will say, “That’s Brooklyn’s Mommy,” in reference to me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

That’s Brooklyn’s Mommy. Getting ready on Mother’s Day.

Though my motherhood journey has just started, I’m so grateful and I’ve learned so much. Some of the things I said I’d never do have been crossed off that list; including but not limited to:

• co-sleeping/bedsharing
• baby talk
• baby shopping sprees
• passing her off to someone else (babysitter, grandma, auntie) when I get a little tired
• letting her go out in public wearing only a onesie (it’s hot in Florida)
• posting pictures of her on social media (I tried but I just love her soooo much I have to share)
• talking about her incessantly

I finally know what it means to have a piece of your heart leave you each day. Like, I really love this little person just because she is! I’m amazed at her growth and in four short months she’s formed a personality and has all these little quirks. Who knew?

Reflecting back to last year around this time, I was only about two months pregnant and full of questions. I didn’t know what would come of the pregnancy. I didn’t know if she was a she, LOL. I just knew I would try and be the best mom possible.

The smirk.

Even towards the end of my pregnancy it still wasn’t real. Sure, I had a big belly and felt life inside me but I hadn’t experienced the cries, sleepless nights, coos, laughs or smiles yet. I had no idea I would have to learn how to be patient with this little person’s ever-changing demands. I didn’t know this love. At four months, she’s getting into a routine and trying to scoot around. She has teeth trying to break through and she’s gnawing on everything. When she cries, I soothe her. I even laugh at the funny faces she makes when she doesn’t want to wake up or when Daddy’s annoying her.

I can understand the tears my mom shed, the sacrifices she made, how unselfish she was, how hard she worked for us and why she still works so hard to be an amazing example of what it means to be a mother. I only hope I can be the same for my daughter.

Sure, there will be days when she disappoints me or makes me upset but I’ll be ready to roll with the punches. For right now, I’m cherishing the moments that she wants to hug me, hold my face in her hands, slobber my nose and have conversations with me.

 

One day she’ll wipe off my kisses and immerse herself in friendships. But for now…

She’s my silly billy, my Teeta-Peeta, my Mamacita, my baby girl. And I’m over-the-moon happy to be Brooklyn’s Mommy!

Chanell Nicole

 

P.S.  Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all Mommies, mommies-to-be, step moms, grandmoms, aunts and godmothers.

 

Mother’s Day For Me

Yesterday I celebrated my first Mother’s Day!

I started off the day in prayer, thanking God for making me a mother. That’s such a huge title and I’m learning that so much comes with being a mother.  I spent the early part of the morning with My Mommy! The Baby and I went to my mom’s church for a Mother’s Day breakfast. We had a great time.

Me & My Mommy

Just before we were about to leave, I got a “gift” from my baby girl. She left it all over the front of my dress and on her clothes, too. We smiled off the little mishap and headed home. Though our plans to attend our place of worship were put on hold (due to a cranky, teething baby) I enjoyed spending time in bed; just the two of us.

Me & The Baby.

Later on in the day, we went to my mother-in-law’s house for dinner. The menu was oxtail, jerk pork, coconut rice and peas, steamed cabbage, potato salad, macaroni and cheese, and corn bread. I kept my portion rather manageable so I could later enjoy a slice of red velvet cake! My mother-in-law surprised me with my first Mother’s Day gift: a wonderful card, a pair of earrings and a matching necklace. She also bought me a notebook with a message that really touched me.

 

Since becoming a mom, it has been hard for me to find the balance between wife, mom, and creative being. Her message encouraged me to keep creating and being purposeful. I couldn’t ask for a better mother-in-law!

My husband had made me believe that all I was getting for Mother’s Day was a singing card. I can admit, I was astounded! I could not believe that he didn’t see the importance of my very first Mother’s Day! Just before dinner, he asked me to come into the den and place a hot pink gym bag in front of me. “Open it,” he said, smiling.

Inside was most of what I’ll need to continue my journey to a more fit and better me. While some women want flowers and perfume, all I wanted was a spare pare of running shoes and I got so much more! I was cheesing for the rest of the day.

Later in the night, once the baby was asleep he said, “did you actually think I wouldn’t get you a gift?”

“I was hoping you got something but you really had me going,” I told him still cheesing.

“It was fun watching you almost spazz out though.”

I can admit, I get a little impatient at times; especially with my husband. The greatest gift I could have gotten on Mother’s Day was already given to me. I have a healthy baby girl and a husband who loves and supports me.

But who doesn’t want to be celebrated a little? Right?

How was you Mother’s Day?

Until next time Be Blessed & Live Well.

Chanell Nicole

Random Blog #3

Hey!
I feel amazing. It’s a refreshing feeling. I’m not as tired as I once complained about and the feeling is priceless. BK is 3 months old! I can’t believe how fast the time is flying. She amazes me everyday. Seeing her smiling face (which looks nothing like mine) every morning is a blessing within itself. Some days I just want to stay at home with her and play all day long. Never have I known this kind of love.

I love being a mother. Though it took me a little while to embrace, I can actually say it’s the best feeling in the world. Last year around this time, I had just found out I was expecting. I was afraid and excited all at once. It was then that I began wrapping my mind around what it meant to bring forth life. What I have now is so much more than what I could even think of. (Ephesians 3:20 moment in full effect.)

I can remember being one of those women who bragged about NOT having children. I now chuckle when I read a status update that says something like: I’m glad I don’t have kids to tie me down.
Some women make the choice not to have children and that’s all fine and dandy. But my life didn’t have the same purpose that it does now that I have a child. Everything I do has an effect on her life. That’s so deep and intimidating at times. Even when talking about myself I have to remember that she’s watching and listening. I am her definition of what it means to be a woman. That’s so scary to me. I’ve been given a huge charge to mold and shape and be an example.

I take it day by day and I am confident that God has prepared me for every obstacle I’ll face in motherhood and life in general. Knowing that my strength comes from Him makes it so much easier. One thing I’ve learned in the past three months is that it gets better. When I brought her home from the hospital I had no idea what I was doing. I cried a lot. I spent a lot of time wondering if I would ever get the hang of things. Once my hormones leveled off and I treated her like a baby (instead of expecting her to be able to do everything on her own) I regained my composure.

I still don’t feel like my “old” self and that’s to be expected. I’m a different person with a new title: Fabulous Mommy! I embrace it and I know that being a mom doesn’t mean being perfect, but I’m working on it.

 

Motherhood: A Brand New Me

Until next time,
Be blessed & Live Well.

Chanell Nicole